im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
