I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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