He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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