She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
