We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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