"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
