And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
