i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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