yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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