I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
