Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
how does that bad decision feel?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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