Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
