Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
