Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
