Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
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