This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I came so hard my ears popped.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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