How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I wish life had little blips of pornography
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize