We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
