I wish I could punch you in the face.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Also, beer. Big fan.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize