so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
