best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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