well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
