I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
