no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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