You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize