is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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