if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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