Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
