She's JV to your varsity
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the day after is always just damage control
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
