i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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