okay pat passed out under dana's car
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
