Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
