Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
