He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
