They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
