what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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