This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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