I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize