why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
