I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
