i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize