did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
