Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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