so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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