the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
