My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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