i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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