just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
we're so committed to being not committed
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
