just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
