I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
