what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
