thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
