Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize