2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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