The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
