If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
