I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
