alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
