Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize