Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
