wakey wakey hands off snakey
You can't motorboat a personality
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
