i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
