We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
