let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize