Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
