Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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