im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
