I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Randomize
